Beyond Neutral Paula Reid

In this Season 2 wrap-up, Paula takes a moment to reflect on some of her favorite and most popular episodes, such as "Ep. 16: Unpacking Agency," "Ep. 19: Three Step Process to Stop Ruminating" and "Ep. 26: Do An Expectations Audit."
 
As Paula prepares for her summer activities, a time she usually spends reflecting, reading, and planning for the future, she had a thought-provoking conversation with a friend that led to a deeper question. The question she poses to herself and her listeners is: What do you want your contribution to be?
 
Consider this question in any given moment—how do you want to contribute to your relationships? Do you aim to offer grace, understanding, or judgment? What about in your work or within your family dynamics?
 
Is your current contribution aligned with your intentions?
 
As she concludes Season 2, Paula leaves us pondering this question: What do you want your contribution to be, both in the short term and long term?
 
Sometimes our contribution involves giving space—space for others to grow. And sometimes, the most meaningful contribution is choosing not to intervene.
 
🎧 Show Notes: reidnco.com/podcast
🔗Website: reidnco.com



Time Stamps:
 
[00:01:52]  "And so just becoming incredibly aware of the emotions that we're experiencing and the power that they have. Both the wonderful positive power that they have, as well as how they can, you know, create situations where we get stuck in fear or we ruminate and how to get ourselves out of that."
 
[00:03:45]  "moment that we might be involved in in our lives. It can be around our jobs. It can be about a greater cause. It could be a question that you ask yourself in relationship. What do you want to contribute? What do you want to contribute in the moment? What do you want to contribute in the bigger picture?"
 
[00:06:28]  "So that has been my contribution through this podcast, or that's what I've wanted my contribution to be through this podcast. But now I want to ask that question in a very different way in very different, very specific situations that I'm in and have that on the forefront of my mind when I'm in a situation."
 

Throughout season two, Paula explored various techniques for recognizing and managing emotions, from navigating feedback to weathering emotional storms.
Today, she zeros in on a crucial element of mastering emotional regulation: understanding your personal stress responses and self-soothing methods.
In this episode, Paula dives into how recognizing these personal tendencies is a pivotal first step towards improving your emotional reactions. She reveals her own inclination to spring into action and explains how gaining this self-awareness has empowered her to pause and maintain composure under pressure.
This is an episode you don’t want to miss, Paula gives us tips on spotting those stress signals and finding your chill amidst the chaos. It's all about really knowing yourself and learning to listen to your mind and body when things get rocky. 
🎧 Show Notes: reidnco.com/podcast
🔗Website: reidnco.com
 
Time Stamps:
[00:00:00] - Paula introduces the episode and sets the stage for the discussion on how we handle emotions, feedback, and stress in relationships, providing an overview of the season’s topics.
[00:02:00] - This timestamp marks an explanation about different methods people use to soothe themselves under stress: thinking through the situation, taking action, or connecting with their emotions. It's a pivotal point where the strategies are introduced. 
[00:07:00] - At this moment, Paula delves deeper into the potential pitfalls of leaning too heavily on one self-soothing strategy over the others, highlighting the importance of balancing these approaches in stressful situations. This part provides insights into the consequences of each bias.

Paula wants us to know that the abundance mindset is not about pie-eyed optimism. It is about how we approach a problem, and if we immediately go to a scarcity mindset, this can condition our thinking.
We all have a tendency to jump into certain patterns of thinking, even if we consider ourselves very positive people. In this episode, Paula shares a personal story about packing her daughter's car for a move and how her daughter's reminder to adopt an abundance mindset was the catalyst to start focusing on her own patterns of thinking. Despite her optimistic nature, Paula caught herself slipping into scarcity thinking, which shifted her focus to actively choosing the abundance mindset.
Listen in to learn four ways we can cultivate an abundance mindset in our lives, (and why it matters)!
🎧 Show Notes: reidnco.com/podcast
🔗Website: reidnco.com
 
Time Stamps:
[00:03:30] Abundance mindset. And I'm like, Oh, geez, you're right. You know, and by the way, it all fit and it fit fine, but it was an example of seeing a situation, right? And rather than looking at it and saying, okay, wow, we're going to have to get creative about how we think about this, or let's figure out, what the most efficient way to plan this out is rather than going to that and going to approaching a problem from a perspective of possibility. I [00:04:00] immediately approached a problem from the perspective of scarcity, and I am an optimistic person. So I really started observing this, not only in myself, but in other people
[00:06:13] There's 12 of us. We just cut them small and we'll each get a taste of this fantastic pie abundance, right? It's focusing on what you actually have. Not on what you're missing extremely important nuance, and one that can be very valuable. So how does that show up sometimes? And what's the impact of that? It shows up in a couple of ways. And I've been watching it show up recently. I mentioned my own situation, but where I've also been watching that show up a little bit more. Is, in a couple of coaching situations that I have in a couple of search situations, job search. I see it a lot.
[00:14:46] Okay. So start training yourself to be more expansive about possibilities. And start thinking from a, it's possible. I think that what happens to us as we go through life is, life kind of takes over and you start, and I do think aging does this also. You start thinking from a risk perspective, start thinking from a possibility perspective.
 

Have you been telling yourself a certain story about who you are and what you're capable of? We all have an inner narrative that can hinder our ability to transform. This inner voice is not necessarily ever going to go away, but breaking free from its assumptions is possible.
 
In a recent discussion, Paula and Mike Rataczak reflected on their latest episode, "#33: Trusting Your Instincts Through Transformations," and shared a powerful message. Mike urges listeners not to avoid confronting their inner voice, which can be both loud and limiting.
 
Paula offers her insights on tackling these internal narratives. So, if you're seeking inspiration to make significant changes in your life or simply to explore new skills or hobbies, tune in to gain the motivation to challenge yourself, regardless of what your inner voice may say about you.
 
🎧 Show Notes: reidnco.com/podcast
🔗Website: reidnco.com
 
Time Stamps:
 
[00:01:46]: Introduction to the challenge of changing the internal voice - This moment marks the beginning of a deep dive into the primary challenge Mike Rataczak faced: altering the internal voice that hinders personal and career transformations. It's where the narrator reflects on the aftermath of a previous episode's discussion with Mike, setting up the context for a profound exploration of overcoming ingrained belief systems and the fear of change, which is pivotal for anyone considering a significant life or career shift.
 
[00:05:17]: The hardest part of transformation is wrestling with the internal voice - In this part, Mike delves into the core of his struggle, describing the process of contending with the internal voice as the most challenging aspect of his transformation. He emphasizes the difficulty of recognizing this voice does not necessarily represent one's true self, offering encouragement to those contemplating significant life changes.
 
[00:11:36]: The importance of reexamining beliefs and values for transformation - This closing reflection reinforces the theme of the internal voice being a significant barrier to transformation. It discusses the necessity of reevaluating one's beliefs, values, and the assumptions that underpin one's identity and actions. This segment underlines the process of transitioning from externally influenced perceptions to embracing one's internal drivers and reshaping self-concept.
 

Join Paula and special guest Mike Rataczak in this wisdom-packed episode as they discuss Mike's journey of making a significant career shift. After dedicating over 30 years to Human Resources, Mike made the bold decision to return to school for design and pursue a career as an interior designer. Listen in to learn Mike's decision-making process and the challenges he encountered while embarking on this new path.
 
This episode offers valuable insights into the experience of navigating major life changes, while also providing encouragement and wisdom for those who may be reflecting on their own journey and feeling a sense of regret or wasted time. Paula and Mike remind us that every step we take serves a purpose, and we are always exactly where we need to be in each season of our lives.
 
Learn more about Mike Rataczak here: https://mikerataczakstudios.com/
 
🎧 Show Notes: reidnco.com/podcast
🔗Website: reidnco.com



Time Stamps:



[00:09:32] “My instinctive interest has been there. As long as you can remember. Always, always. I would build forts out of sticks when I was a little kid in my grandparents' front yard...early 2018, I decided to start looking into seriously listening to that voice.”
 
[00:14:28] “And since I was a child, in fact, there's this idea in the world of psychology, I believe if I read this in prior readings correctly, is that if you want to get a sense of what your instinctive interests and passions are, go back and look at what you did as a child. Because children are driven by instincts. They don't have world experience to count on. So they're driven by instinct, right? That's true. So, you know, what were you instinctively drawn to as a child?”
 
[00:42:09] “Late 2019, when I was one year into my new design career, I realized. I just don't want to live in New York anymore. It, like my old career, this city had become a suit that no longer fit me.”
 

In this episode, Paula embarks on a profound exploration of receiving feedback with intention and grace, highlighting three crucial steps:
 
✓ Practicing neutrality: By approaching feedback with a neutral energy, we sidestep defensiveness and internalization, paving the way for genuine understanding.
✓ Expressing gratitude: Acknowledging the feedback as a gift of insight is a powerful demonstration of vulnerability that enhances our connections.
✓ Engaging in reflection: Giving ourselves permission to deeply ponder the feedback, emphasizing the importance of self-compassion in our growth.
 
Paula illustrates that engaging with feedback is more than just listening; it's about truly hearing and evolving from the insights shared. This episode underscores the idea that our reaction to feedback offers opportunities for meaningful connections and personal development, urging us to embrace feedback with an open heart and mind as a pivotal step toward living authentically and wholeheartedly.



🎧 Show Notes: reidnco.com/podcast
🔗Website: reidnco.com



Time Stamps:
 
[02:34] And frankly, there's been a ton of information and a ton of things written about how you go about giving feedback. And yes, it's very important to know that and to know how to deliver that in an effective way. Not as much written about and not as much talked about about how we received it. But here's the bottom line. I believe that how you receive it  matters more. And the reason it matters more is because that's the thing you have control over.
 
[06:22] So the more neutral we can be in that feedback moment.  The more apt we are to really hear the full extent of what of the message that's being delivered to us,  the more likely we are to be able to ask for more information. Ask clarifying questions. Now, it's hard. I'm not, I'm not saying this is an easy thing to do.
 
[07:40] Number two is to not be defensive or not feel like you need to respond in that moment or not feel like you have to give back something substantial in that moment, but rather feel like you need to just simply acknowledge gratitude. For that person having delivered that to you, having offered that insight to you.
 
[11:34] What do you want to do with the information you're given? Do you want to think about a plan to change your behavior? Do you want to go back to that person and Ask for more information or ask for help in changing that behavior, or do you want to just throw it away because you've decided that the motivation from that person isn't really consistent with what you're looking for in your relationship, in your work, in your outcome, whatever it is.