Stray Bullets E.S. Haggan
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- True Crime
Having served over thirty years in the RUC / PSNI I was medically retired with CPTSD. Dissociative Identity Disorder also evolved in me as a residue of CPTSD. I wrote a novel, 'The Bitter End of Dreams', through which I hoped to reflect the experiences of working class folk caught in the grip of a sectarian conflict. I set my story in Belfast, but replaced the Judeo-Christian god with that of Mithras. I also gave Northern Ireland an extra county. Such counterfactual alterations opened up for me the opportunity to place my story deep within the NI Troubles without being shackled to specific timelines, events and real people - thus avoiding the risk of libelling anyone, while being able to write a story, familiar to many, and retaining a sense of place and the tragedy of the Troubles. I'm going to talk openly about elements of policing the Troubles, religion, politics, sectarianism and our toxic ideologies. I've explored these topics in my novel, as well as the placing of actual events and atrocities; albeit heavily disguised or deeply submerged in subtext.To better frame my thoughts I will, firstly, discuss each chapter in sequence before reading that chapter. In this way I should be able to complete a spoken word version of my novel while using the opportunity it provides to elaborate on its creation process in the context of the NI Troubles.Thank you.
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I Bear No Grudge
This episode is Part One of Two in which I look at two atrocities, one in 1972 and one in 1987, through the words of two fathers who both experienced the murder of one of their children. Ultimately, this episode will, I hope, help me explore the aspect of 'forgiveness' in the context of conflict, specifically the Troubles.
In Part Two (the concluding episode) I would hope to be freer to voice my thoughts - not only on the aspect of 'forgiveness', but also on that of the seeking of an apology, of sorts, as well as repentance from the Provisional IRA.
In Part One I have used extracts from the following books:
On The Waterfront, Parker, Joseph D., The Pentland Press, 2000Lost Lives. McKittrick, David, et al, Mainstream Publishing 2004 -
Doorstep Shootings Part II: Tunnel Vision
In this episode I am focusing on two Troubles' murders, those of RUC Sgt Hugh Brendan McCormac and Pat Finucane. Both men were slaughtered in front of their wives and young children. While this episode concludes the theme of 'Doorstep Murders' I felt that these two cases - from the thousands murdered during the Troubles - demonstrated how the killers thought nothing of murdering their victims in very close proximity to the respective families.
I do go digress here and there, but I sincerely hope I am able to adequately convey my thoughts without exhausting your patience.
I was also minded of, but didn't have time to include in the episode, the following poem by Michael Longley...
The Civil Servant
He was preparing an Ulster fry for breakfast
When someone walked into the kitchen and shot him:
A bullet entered his mouth and pierced his skull,
The books he had read, the music he could play.
Hlay in his dressing gown and pyjamas
While they dusted the dresser for fingerprints
And then shuffled backwards across the garden
With notebooks, cameras and measuring tapes.
They rolled him up like a red carpet and left
Only a bullet hole in the cutlery drawer
Later his widow took a hammer and chisel
And removed the black keys from his piano.
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Doorstep Shootings in Northern Ireland. Part I: Just a Uniform
In this episode I return to narrative form through which to recount an actual doorstep shooting that occurred in Belfast 1979. As always, names have been changed as well as the Provisional IRA gunman's ground support being slightly altered.
After the main body of the occurrence there follows an account of the victim's recollections and thoughts (this may be similar to the Victim Impact Statements of today).
This is then immediately followed by segments from a (wider) interview of the gunman post-Good Friday Agreement and in the USA. -
Briefing Book
This is just a very succinct update on upcoming episodes and the future of the podcast.
Many thanks. I owe a massive debt of gratitude to all who have - and continued to - listen to my thoughts, experiences and reflections on my time as an officer in the Royal Ulster Constabulary during the Northern Ireland Troubles. -
Use of Force: Behind the Baton Gun with an RUC Officer
In this episode I briefly recount some of my experiences as an RUC baton gunner. Obviously this is a very contentious subject and I am very cognizant of this. Seventeen civilians were killed by rubber or plastic bullets during the Troubles, eight of the dead were children, all of the dead were catholic. Many others have been gravely injured by the weapon.
There remain arguments for its use, as well as arguments against. As I say these are wholly my own thoughts and experiences surrounding my role as an RUC baton gunner.
I hope you find something of interest in this episode and, as always, I appreciate your time in listening to such. -
Unfinished Revolutions? Dissident Irish Republicanism and its Ideology of Violence
In this episode I take a look at Dissident Irish Republican micro-groups. Rather than a case of considering some of their 'military actions', I'll be focusing on republican ideology as well as theology.
How do dissidents view themselves as opposed to Sinn Fein?
What drives their appetite for continuing violence?
Is there much difference between dissidents and organised crime groups?
I hope to, if not answer some of the above then give food for thought, plus look briefly at the statement by PIRA / Sinn Fein that there was 'no alternative' to waging a campaign of violence.