Bodies Behind The Bus Bodies Behind The Bus

So much for sharing the voices and hopefully there will be positive change within these organization.

First off: I believe that anyone who has been hurt by another individual or entity, such as a church, needs to tell his or her story and deserves a compassionate response and reparative action. I believe that the hosts of this podcast are well-intentioned in providing a platform for people to share their stories and a posture of listening empathically and reflectively.

However, after having listened to several episodes including one about the church I have attended for 12 years, I have three significant concerns with how this podcast currently operates:

First, the hosts seem to often contradict themselves on what it is they want. For example in Taylor’s story, they called the pastor’s actions “ridiculous” when he seemed be offering Taylor exactly what she had wanted earlier in the story, I.e. an audience with the critics within her church so that she could have a conversation with them. In Liz’s story, the hosts seemed to think the church was silly for not hiring Liz as a counselor on staff when she had no degree in counseling, but also seemed to advocate for best practices and quality of care in the church… I.e. perhaps having a licensed counselor doing the counseling.

Second, the hosts pass considerable judgment on the alleged abusers in the way they engage their guests. The hosts believe absolutely every word their guests say and they meanwhile judge the actions of the church staff in the victims’ stories. Yet they have no further context on the stories, and place many assumptions on the staff members’ posture, attitude and intent in what the pastors or staff members did or said. The hosts speculate with abandon, as in Taylor’s story in which host Janna(sp?) says she thinks the pastor might have been fabricating a fake person to insult Taylor. Perhaps… but perhaps not! It is not the hosts’ place to make such speculations. This could land them in very deep water (slander) in cases where it is easier to identify the people in these stories and when the stakes might be higher. Another reviewer criticized an episode about a sexual assault case at camp in which one of the accused people had been acquitted…. This is exactly the hot water I presume the hosts do not want to be involved in: perpetuating potentially false claims with no chance for the other side of the conflict to speak or offer defense; they are not hearing the full story form their guests.

Lastly, I’d like to mention that my church was featured here. The former church member who shared here on this podcast gave his/her individual story and opinion. Our church was easily identified where I live despite using anonymity in the podcast. I keep thinking about how much better, wholistic, nurturing, refreshing, helpful it would have been for the hurt member to handle this conflict/ hurt/ trauma with the people he or she was actually hurt by and thereby allow an opportunity for growth and healing.

My advice to the hosts is:
1. Consider your deepest purpose in this podcast as it pertains to the Church. Is the Bride of Christ better off today than it was when you first began this podcast? Perhaps your guests are better off… but if that means several others were hurt in the process of those individuals being healed, was it ultimately good? If not, what could you change to make this podcast good for the Church?
2. Mind that your posture is not one of unquestioning judgment. You will never know the full stories of what you share here unless you operate as journalists and report on interviews you have conducted from multiple perspectives. At this point in time, it’s kind of the worst of both worlds in my opinion: hearing and empathizing with one side, judging and criticizing the silent side, and not doing anything to help heal this particular relationship or help educate this particular church. Furthermore, people who are already on the brink of turning away from the church will hear these stories and certainly turn away, in my opinion.
3. Remember that there are good yet flawed people running churches all around the nation and attending your podcast as guests. Most people on church staffs want to do well in their roles and would welcome constructive criticism. Our culture is one of extreme criticism and the expectation of absolute perfection. My friends, do not conform to this pattern.

Thank you for reading.

Thank you. You’ve given us a place to process our spiritual abuse and continue to learn. I feel like I’ve reclaimed a piece of my voice. Thank you to each person at BBTB, each Storyteller, and each ATBS guest.