Parental Development Dr. Leah Featherstone & Beka Dean

We cut last week's episode short, so we needed another one to finish our conversation about expectations.In last week's episode we talked about the need to lower expectations if our kids are showing us with their behavior that they can't do the task. But what if your kid has done it in the past and now all of a sudden they are refusing or saying they can't do something anymore? There is still a function behind this behavior, and I choose to see this behavior as a CAN'T do as opposed to a WON'...

This episode talks through the expectations we have for our kids, how to make sure they're realistic and look at them differently, through this new parenting lens.Can we differentiate our DESIRES for our kids from the EXPECTATIONS of our kids. Expectations feel like boundaries or rules, which can lead to the punishment, control, shame, or coercion we're trying to change in this type of parenting.If we truly believe that "bad" behavior is a lack of a skill, lack of connection, etc. and that al...

The moral of this week's episode: Nothing matters other than your relationship with your child!What doesn't matter: grades; behavior; attitude; sportsWhat does matter: Our relationship My job as a parent isn't to control my kids' behavior, get them to act a certain way, make sure they're making other people comfortable. It's to show them love and acceptance and show them what a healthy, loving relationship is supposed to look like.So much pressure is put on parents to make sure our kids...

How do we treat our kids like full human people without treating them like adults and forcing them to grow up too quickly. Let's talk about it!Treating our kids like full people simply means that we welcome all of their humanness and don't try to minimize or talk them out of their experiences. It means that they deserve as much respect as any adult.There is not a topic that's off limits with my kids. There is a spectrum of the amount, intensity, and way information is shared.For hard topics:&...

This episode finishes our conversation about bias, inclusion, and how our brains are wired for sameness , making these changes hard.In order to start to change our unconscious beliefs, we first have to bring it into our conscious awareness so we can then override those that are unhealthy, dangerous, wrong, etc.We have to consciously choose to access the parts of our brains that challenge our biases and help us develop new pathways regarding people and situations that are "other." Interac...

This episode talks about what can sometimes be a taboo or hard topic: bias, diversity, and race. We utilize science to talk through how our brains are wired for sameness and build bias into our system, in order to protect us.For more information about this topic, check out this book, that we used to start our conversation. Understanding the science can help take the shame and judgment out of this topic, which can then make it easier to have productive conversations.Our brains are designed to ...