Dad Without Borders Blue Netherclift

This is a chance to share some recent "wins" as a long-distance parent and offer some hot tips to anyone that might need some advice in navigating long-distance relationships with their kids. It is not easy to be away from your kids, even for a week. I have to deal with many months separated from my oldest son who lives in the UK, and making him feel like a part of my family here in Canada is not an easy task. But my three young sons are incredibly close and this it the result of thoughtful, creative parenting. I hope this short episode provides some hope for other dads that might be struggling.

This week I share my recent experience with EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) - dealing with the trauma of a child custody trial - as an effective way to deal with any residue impact on the mind and body. It was a really interesting and productive experience for me and I want to encourage other Dads to consider seeking therapy in some form if they have not already done so. As part of the parenting journey, we need to own our own shit and confront our demons to become the best parents we can be - in my opinion. Kids are our best teachers, so it's a great opportunity for personal development.

This leads to a reflection on parenting from a distance with a child overseas, and actually how it's possible to be as connected as any day-to-day parent, if not more so. I then touch on current challenges with our three-year-old boy that anyone with young kids might be able to relate to - and how we are dealing with it.

A great conversation about how to show up as a parent with the author of Parenting for a Peaceful Home.

Drew Tupper is an Author, life coach, husband, and father of two. He has dedicated his life to seeking truth and creating purpose. He practices these intentions by examining and analyzing questions such as: Why are we here? How should we live? What matters? And how can we BE so that our lives are an outward projection of our being? He has overcome struggle and knows what it feels like to feel stuck, angry, and lost. His life is a testament to the adage that growth is not always a straightforward path, but that it is always a worthwhile pursuit. In his words, he “found liberation in loving himself unconditionally,” which “allows him to create his life, rather than react.” Now, this is what he helps his clients do.

Do you have to try really hard to be successful? Or do you need to tune into your self and act from a place of calm, so you can co regulate with your kids. Energy is everything when you are parenting. If you want to find a way to calm your child, this is a good episode for you. Do you ever had a bad reaction to your child crying? Like me, have you been obsessed by nap times and do you know how to regulate yourself so you don't freak out? We also talk about acceptance and forgiving yourself. Consider the impact of your tone with your kids. How were we impacted by our upbringing. What happens to adults that were raised with a negative tone? What kind of tone do we need to have?

The key takeaway could be that we all need to 'do the work' and seek professional guidance as we navigate parenting. Or maybe just subscribe and listen to all these episodes.

I was in a counselling session yesterday with Catherine Williams, a registered social worker. A friend of the show and someone who has been a great source of inspiration and support over the years.

One of the topics that was discussed was the fact that it is important that kids don't feel responsible for their parent's emotions. This had me reflecting on some of the situation I have been in as a parent, when I am being triggered or I voice my frustrations.

It was a great reminder for me to watch my language and actions around my three children to make sure I am taking ownership of how I feel and not putting expectations on them to show up in a certain was to appease me.

I also share a brief update of how things are going for our family with a new baby, and the relationship of the siblings.

This is an insightful conversation with Emily, a screentime aka tech intentional consultant. Screentime is a challenge for most of us in the modern world. As parents we can't avoid the additional challenges that this brings. How much screen time is too much? At what age is it okay for our kids to have a social media account? And what about phones? How does screentime impact their behaviour?

"Being tech-intentional™ means only using screen-based technology that enhances, nurtures, and supports yourself, your child, or your family in a way that aligns with your values, and resisting screen use that interferes with healthy mental, physical, cognitive, and emotional development." Emily Cherkin, The Screentime Consultant

The issue of screen access and the desire for kids to have their own devices is a battlefield in many homes and added stress for parents. Emily has some great advice to offer and if you have young kids, now is a great time to start thinking about solutions and building a framework around screentime and access to the internet. It also helps that both parents are on the same team - so this podcast episode is for both parents!

We have a new baby boy! Dad Without Borders is back after a summer break enjoying family time as we transition into life with a new baby and juggling the needs of three sons aged 0, 3 and 9. I have lots more to say about this, but in this episode I focus on sharing my experience of welcoming our baby boy into the world.