Play Skillfully The Homegrown Preschooler

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In this episode Lesli and Kathy dive into the topic of Gentleness. 
Some parenting coaches to check out or follow if you are interested in learning more about Gentle Parenting: 
LR Knost
Mary Van Geffen 
Desitni Davis
Moms of Spicy Ones sign-ups open September 1, 2023. Watch our Instagram stories, starting on 9/1 for a discount code. 
Additional Resources:
Little Bear by Maurice Sendak
The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame 
Games:
Pick up Sticks
Building House of Cards
Operation


For more information, check out Kathy and Lesli’s book,The Homegrown Preschooler and curriculum,A Year of Playing Skillfully.
 
Thanks for listening. If you have topics you would like for us to discuss or people you would like to hear from, let us know. Just email us playskillfully@thehomegrownpreschooler.com or shoot us a message on social media.

In this episode, Kathy talks about the approaching school year and offers tips and suggestions for making the transition a smooth one for preschoolers. 
1. Start by setting goals for you and your family. Kathy’s favorite way of doing this is to gather magazines, pencils, paper and glue and invite children to make goal posters and include topics they would like to learn about. 

2. Keep it FLEXIBLE: Consider your season of life when planning. Moves, new babies, and health issues have all caused Kathy to adjust her school goals over the years. Flexibility and the willingness to pivot will help parents and children keep their sanity during times of transition. After considering your season of life, adjust goals and create a routine. Remember, routines often work better than schedules, especially for preschoolers (and free spirit mommas). 

3. Keep it CONCRETE: Young children learn through their senses. They need to touch it, smell it, taste it, hear it, and see it for their brain to connect with it. Encourage curiosity and be willing to follow that curiosity to completion. 

4. Keep it SIMPLE: Preschoolers do not need hours with worksheets. In fact, research shows that preschoolers don’t need worksheets at all. Helping children fall in love with words, books and stories will inspire children to fall in love with reading. Math can be done as you go… cooking, cleaning, sorting and exploring are all ways to teach basic math concepts. Sensory and Science are a must for building a strong foundation in the brain for abstract learning. Give children plenty of time for discovery, experience, and wonder if you want to develop lifelong learners. 


Have fun and have a delightful year of wonder!!!
For more information, check out Kathy and Lesli’s book, The Homegrown Preschooler and curriculum, A Year of Playing Skillfully. 


Thanks for listening. If you have topics you would like for us to discuss or people you would like to hear from, let us know. Just email us playskillfully@thehomegrownpreschooler.com or shoot us a message on social media. 

This month in our curriculum, A Year of Playing Skillfully, we are focusing on the character trait of forgiveness. Webster's 1828 Dictionary defines forgiveness as “to pardon, to overlook an offense and treat the offender as not guilty.” We thought this was a very matter-of-fact definition for such a complex emotional process. Listen to Episode 31 of the Play Skillfully where Kathy and Lesli have a frank talk about what teaching children about forgiveness can look like in your home. 

1. Examine your own family history with forgiveness. We don’t want to parent on auto-pilot! Did your family easily forgive? Did your parents apologize to you and ask for forgiveness? How would you like to do things differently with your family? 

2. Recognize that with small children, the foundation of forgiveness is developing the idea of inherent worth. Use stories such as “Horton Hears a Who” by Dr. Suess to develop empathy for others. After using stories to develop the idea of inherent worth, we want to move onto developing ideas of kindness, respect, and generosity. When a child is about 6 years old, they can developmentally begin to understand the causes and effects of people’s actions. 

3. Remember that forgiveness sometimes takes time! It does not always mean immediate reconciliation. Forgiveness is a choice and should never be forced on a child before they are ready.

4. Always be there to help your child name their feelings. Validate their feelings of anger, sadness, or frustration without validating unwanted behavior that can come along with it. 

5. Forgiveness demonstrates resilience, and this is a quality our children really need to take into their futures. They need the ability to repair, reframe and move on from conflict. Holding onto anger and resentment creates anxiety and depression. It is necessary for our mental health to learn to forgive.

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Stories that build the foundation for forgiveness:
Horton Hears a Who by Dr Suess
Mrs. Rosey Posey and the Yum-Yummy Birthday Cake by Robin Jones Gunn
The Berenstain Bears and the Golden Rule by Mike Berenstain 
I Forgive You: Love We Can Hear, Ask For, and Give by Nicole LataifPunk the Skunk Learns to Say I’m Sorry by Misty Black
How to Apologize by David LaRochelle
The Circles All Around Us by Brad Montegue
The Friend Who Forgives Storybook: A true story about how Peter failed and Jesus forgave by Dan Dewitt 

This is a rebroadcast of a favorite episode from 2020.

Tips for building patience in yourself:

1. Relationships over results. Also consider the fragility of the people you are dealing with. Be gentle. You honestly never know what other people are dealing with at home, or what broken system they are trying to work within. The way we respond to others is on display to our children. 

2. Educate yourself in the developmental stages of your kids, so that your expectations are reasonable. 

3. Check yourself first:  Are we frustrated with them because we were unprepared, disorganized or unrested? Are we communicating clearly what our expectations are? Are we expecting others to read our minds?  Do we need some self-care?

4. Be mindful of the verbal and non-verbal cues we are giving.  (Eye rolling, sarcasm, belittling people, sighing heavily, foot-tapping)

5. Protect your own quiet prayer time. There is nothing that makes me gentler with people than spending time with my gentle Lord. He is so so patient with us and I need to keep that conduit open in order to pour it out on others.  My kids have occasionally looked at me wide-eyed and said “Did you miss your quiet time today?

Building it within your kids:

1. Observe potential triggers and target them specifically. These could potentially be: turn taking, losing at games, hunger, perfectionism, frustration with building new skills, keeping up with siblings, etc.
2. Validate their feelings of frustration. Usually the FEELING behind the frustration is valid, but maybe not the BEHAVIOR.
3. Problem solve out loud to yourself when you are feeling impatient. “This traffic is so hard to sit in! Let’s make it more fun by playing our favorite songs. Everyone choose one!”  “I am so hungry right now, but it is still one hour before dinner! Maybe I will drink a big glass of water!” Use humor whenever possible.

4. Honor your commitments. Minutes are meaningless, especially when we say “in a minute” when we don’t really mean it.  They are not dumb. Use visual timers such as hour glasses or visual kitchen timers.

5. Play games. Freeze Dance, Duck Duck Goose and Mother, May I build listening and patience. 

6. Compliment and reward it when you see it “Hey, nice waiting!”  “I noticed earlier that you were so patient when your brother wanted to play with your new Lego, so we will have a special dessert tonight!”
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Thanks for listening. If you have topics you would like for us to discuss or people you would like to hear from, let us know. Just email us playskillfully@thehomegrownpreschooler.com or shoot us a message on social media. 

This week Kathy had the privilege to speak with Dr. Kathy Koch, founder of Celebrate Kids and discuss several hot topics for parents today.

They talked about Kathy’s books 8 Great Smarts and Start with the Heart. Dr. Kathy shared some amazing wisdom about getting to the hearts of your little ones as well as your teens. 

You can learn more about Dr. Kathy Koch at celebratekids.com. Check out her books and the opportunities to listen to her at one of many conferences including, Ignite the Family.