The Tao Te Ching for Everyday Living Dan Casas-Murray

Tao Te Ching Verse 81

translated by Isabella Mears

Faithful words may not be beautiful,
Beautiful words may not be faithful.
Those who love do not quarrel,
Those who quarrel do not love.
Those who know are not learned,
Those who are learned do not know.
The riches of the self-controlled person are in the Inner Life.
When one spends for others, one has more for oneself.
When one gives to others, one has much more for oneself.
Heavenly Tao blesses all and hurts no one.
The way of the self-controlled person is to act and not to fight.

Photo by Nastya Dulhiier on Unsplash

Staying Connected

In this final verse of the TTC, I feel like there are three things with which Lao Tzu leaves us:
The first is that when we are connected with Tao (which is always, btw), we can
See without looking
Listen without hearing
Feel without touching
Internalize without smelling or tasting
The second is the property of reflection - both internal and external to ourselves, which to me means that when I look inside, the Tao is reflected back.  Ripples in a pond, while they emanate outward, always return to the source.
And the third is that emulating the Tao is the way to align ourselves with it, just like a magnet points toward the closest pole.
How do we practice all of this?  That is our individual choice!  Throughout the podcast, we have discussed different ways to put the principles into practice, and have acknowledged that those aren’t the only ways.  In fact, I suspect that like the Tao, the number of ways I can use to practice those principles are infinite.  In my short journey so far with the Tao, I have learned four centering mindsets that lead to different practices for different times, and I’ll leave them with you for your consideration:
 I must approach the Tao with as much sincerity as I can.  It doesn’t matter how deeply sincere I am - just the best I can do in the moment is enough.I ask Tao for the willingness to see things a different way.  I ask for awareness.I ask Tao to show me what I can do to practice.I ask Tao to help me be willing to practice once I know the way.This is pretty much the cycle for me.  It is simple, AND easy to do, at least most of the time.  This mindset has helped me to become open to new ways of seeing things, new meditations, new contemplations, and what I feel is the coolest thing yet: being able to work with Tao to transmute my hangups, fears, and the negativity that has been with me since childhood into a loving, very real connection with myself, others, and the environment around me.
I am experiencing being human.  It can be great.  It can be horrifying.  It can be incredibly beautiful.  I can choose to do it alone.  I can choose to do it with Tao.  The choice is mine alone, and the action is mine to take.
Tao is impartial to my choice - so even Tao doesn’t influence my choice or action.  How profoundly poignant is that?  This is my journey.  It is your journey.  It is our journey.  We all share this human experience, and yet we experience it individually.  I am grateful that I have been willing enough to experience Tao in all its myriad forms.  I am grateful for this human experience.  I am grateful I can know compassion, contentment, and humility.  I am grateful I have had this experience because of and with...you.

Tao Te Ching Verse 80

translated by Hua-Ching Ni

Let there be small communities with few inhabitants.
The supply of vessels may be more than enough,
yet no one would use them.
The inhabitants would love living there so dearly that they would never wish to move to
another place.
They may have every kind of vehicle,
but they would not bother to ride them.
They may have powerful weapons,
but they would not resort to using them.
They would return to a simple system of cords and knots to record their simple events,
as was done in ancient times.
They would be content with plain food,
pleased with simple clothing,
satisfied with rustic but cozy homes,
and would cling to their natural way of life.
The neighboring country would be so close at hand that one could hear its roosters crowing
and its dogs barking along the boundaries.
But, to the end of their days, people would rarely trespass the territory of another's life.

Photo by Johnny Cohen on Unsplash

Utopia On the Surface
My experience with this verse has been unexpectedly beautiful. 
In this verse, he outlines utopia:
Abundance Harmony in the CommunityAbility to Travel and Defend but no need for either of those thingsSimplicity in Knowledge ManagementComfortable lifestylePeace with the NeighborsSo as I’m reading it and reflecting, knowing everything that I’ve learned and practiced so far, I can see that the utopia is actually possible!  
There have been two times when I’ve witnessed this, and I didn’t know what it was at the time, but I knew things were different.  I’ll tell you about one of them.
In one of my trainings in the Army, I was in what we’d call a squad - about 8 of us in a small group.  We were to train, eat, and sleep together for about 35 days.  Some of my comrades would have forgotten an item or two, and just me - I would offer what I had blindly.  Now someone might say that was a little dumb of me - you know, like I should have given of my overflow, not my cup, right?  But naive as I was, I did it.  I did that for a week or two, and I noticed that the others started doing the same.  Soon, we were a functioning little family unit, and we looked out for each other and our needs.  It became normal.  Some time later, maybe about 3 weeks, one of our cadre remarked that there wasn’t any infighting in our group like the other squads.  They wondered what it was.  At that moment, I knew.  And it wasn’t like I could have said anything about it - there was no way I could have said that I was the cause in the beginning.  It was one of those subtle things that folks weren’t even paying attention to, to include myself!  But I knew it. 
As I’m considering that experience with that group and reading this verse today, I’m thinking about at least observing how my journey with the Tao has affected my relationships since I started.  At home, I have enjoyed a deeper connection with my spouse as I grow with her and we share spiritual insights.  At work, I have opened up to more ways to be of service, and interesting opportunities have presented themselves.  With friends, I have practiced humility and have met some people that have had profound impacts on my life - and statistically, it seems pretty much impossible that that would have occurred had I gone out searching for them in a deliberate manner.

Tao Te Ching Verse 79

translated by Keith H. Seddon

When a bad grudge is settled,
Some enmity is bound to remain.
How can this be considered acceptable?
Therefore the Sage keeps to her side of the contract
But does not hold the other party to their promise.
One who has Virtue will honour the contract,
Whilst one who is without Virtue expects others to meet their obligations.
It is the Way of Heaven to be impartial;
It stays always with the good person

Photo by Gus Moretta on Unsplash

Giving to Receive
I have experienced time and again that most of the time, if I smile at someone, they’ll smile back.  I’ve also experienced that when I’m angry or sour-faced, people kind of leave me alone, and if I try to make them feel the way I’m feeling, I’ll get that back, too.
In our physical world, it seems that when I push on object A it moves to location B and pretty much stays there.  But in our spiritual world, it seems that when I do action A, it goes out to B and comes back to me in a reflective manner.
The emotions observation was just one thing.  Let’s think about a couple more aspects.  When I treat others with compassion and they feel safe around me, people open up and share themselves with me.  Just doing nothing, just being there and holding space for them, kind of like being the empty vessel, does the trick.  When I am doing the opposite - being selfish and closed off, I am left alone and can’t connect with others.  When I am feeling desire for stuff or relationships I don’t have, people somehow pick up on this and again, I am left alone mostly.  Except in cases where others who are in the same position connect with me and we feed off of each other in unhealthy ways.  But when I am in love with my life and am quietly appreciate of myself and everything around me, I attract other people to share in this feeling with me.  When I am feeling equal to people, real relationship moments occur.  But when I am feeling superior or inferior to others, self-doubt usually surfaces and that feeling eventually causes me to act in passive aggressive or mildly hostile ways toward others.  Subtle ways, but hostile nonetheless. 
When I give my three treasures away, they return.  Similarly, when I give my ‘ick’ away, it returns.  So I can pretty much observe that I get back what I put out.  It is tempting to enter into esoterica here, and equally so to enter into grander visions of a honed manifestation ability.  And while I feel like that’s all got a true feel to it, I do like the way Lao Tzu helps us remember this axiom in a simple way. 
He talks about the Sage staying with the left side of the tablet - the debtor’s rather than the creditors.  He says that when we emulate the Tao by always giving, always being open and available to connect and serve, we become the forces that help others move into Harmony along with us.  And when we do that, we can’t help but reap the rewards - we don’t have to do anything - they just arrive.

Tao Te Ching Verse 78

translated by The Tao of Rivenrock

There is nothing more flexible and yielding than water.
And yet there is nothing better for attacking the hard and rigid, there is nothing that can do
what it can do.
So it is that the rigid can be overcome by the flexible, and the haughty by the humble.
Yet even knowing this; still no one will put this into adequate practice.
For this reason it is said that the ones who accept the humiliation of the country are fit to be
its rulers.
Those who take the sins of the people onto themselves are able to act as King.
This is the paradox of truth!

Photo by Alex Smith on Unsplash

Our Venerable Teachers
Recently, I found myself reacting strongly to a large group of people, like not in a positive way, then transferring those frustrations to a smaller group.  
My typical pattern of reactions to large groups I can’t influence directly is this: the group adopts a position with which I disagree and I judge it as wrong.  Then the people in the group act, and since they’re wrong anyway, anything they do thereafter is of course amoral and despicable.  The judgement cycle continues.  Then when I see members of that group in day to day interactions, I reserve myself and withdraw my willingness to think anything about them that resembles compassion, contentment, or humility.  There are also the nasty thoughts I entertain at each step of the way, which only solidify my resolve to stay away from our three treasures when thinking about the group.
Lao Tzu says that the one who can take on the troubles of the world and who can tend to calamities for the sake of all beings is qualified to rule it.  
I don't want to rule anything - but I do want to contribute to our collective growth and well-being.  So I think that moving toward this ideal will have a similar result.
This time, I decided to break the pattern.  I decided to acknowledge my feelings and thoughts as it pertained to this and the smaller group.  I sat with my feelings.  I was as mindful as I could be at the time - in the midst of feeling them, I would catch myself indulging in them.  I knew I was indulging when I noticed judgements or fantasies about particular outcomes.  I just tried my best to allow the feelings to be there and I welcomed them.  And then, something wonderful happened.  I dropped my resistance to the feelings, and a flood of realizations gradually washed through me.  I began to understand why I was uncomfortable with the group.  Why I reacted the way I did.  And that led to other realizations that were tangential to the original issue!  Once realized, I had the opportunity to explore those ‘whys’ and look for false belief programs I had been running in the background.  I took the chance to undo them as best as I could, and after this work was complete, I knew a new freedom.
Without this larger group, I would not have released myself from some of my old ego-thought-feeling patterns.  Now, I still don’t have to agree with the group or its members, and can work toward changing it for the better.  But I can be grateful for it and ask for the willingness to extend my own compassion, contentment, and humility toward its members when I have the occasion to do so.  Different from enabling, sometimes compassion means denial.  Sometimes contentment means resistance.  Sometimes humility means setting and enforcing boundaries.  In any case, exercising the three treasures comes from a place of harmony, of love, not vindictive denial.

Tao Te Ching Verse 77

translated by Anonymous

The natural order is like stretching a bow
The low bow gets pushed up high
And the high tendon pulled downwards
Where there is too much, it takes away
Where there is not enough, it fills
Nature strives for harmony all the time
Decreases where there is too much
And increases where there is too little
But how opposite are the people in their behaviour
The poor get poorer while the rich tend to get richer
But one who is wise realizes that possession is burglary to community
Therefore he disposes himself of that which belongs to the community
So only one who is wise is detached
He does what others ask him to, but nothing for himself
Without taking credit for it

Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash

Equilibrium
I can picture in my head this back and forth motion of a spring, because that’s what a bow kind of is - a spring that stores and releases both potential and kinetic energy, depending on its state.  If not at rest, it is always wanting to return to its opposite.  Until of course it finds the equilibrium point again.
Now I get it - and how it’s like the Tao.  The Tao is always in motion, always providing.  
Not so with humans, says Lao Tzu.  No, we seem to like to keep the bow in a static state, usually one that is excessive.  
What other creature likes to store way more than they need?  I googled around about this and found that there are some animals that hoard food supplies - but that’s pretty much only for when times are scarce.  There aren’t like big squirrel parties where a bunch of squirrels show up with each other and pass around nuts on trays and have piles of nuts laying around that anyone can eat just because they’re there.  
No, they don’t do that!  But we do.  And I guess my question for now is why?  Why do I feel the need to gather large quantities of things like food, toys, electronics, clothes, relationships, friends, status, certificates, all the things?
I suppose the short answer is that as a human, I’ve spent about 40 years with the illusion that I was alone and not provided for.  I mean when I think about it, I wonder how I could not think that way.  Like I come out into the world cold, naked and scared, and as I develop it seems like I’m an individual, because only I can experience my physical sensations.  It’s not until I begin to be open to sensing other energies that I can see the invisible Tao at work in my life.  So I guess it’s natural at first to think I’m alone and that I’d better provide for me because who else will?
So why do I feel the need to keep that bow stretched by gaining as much of whatever I can?  My thoughts for now are because I have this thing called consciousness that at first, I misinterpret as being all alone.  But when I start becoming aware of the Tao and allowing it to do its thing, which is provide, then I realize that hoarding things is silly, mostly because there is no need.  
Sweet, so I’m good, then?  I don’t have to save money for the future or make sure I’m not isolated?  I can just sit there and let the Tao do its thing?  Nope, because as it turns out, we do need to energize the Tao for ourselves - we do need to be of service, we do need to take some sort of action, mostly in helping other people and in self-cultivation.  That’s how it seems we get what we need from the Tao.  That’s how we allow it to provide.

Tao Te Ching Verse 76

translated by Xiaolin Yang

When people are alive, they are soft; when dead, they are hard.
When every living thing is alive, it is soft; when dead, it is hard.
So, the strong and hard have no vitality; the soft and weak have vitality.
Therefore, when an army is too strong and rigid, it will be extinguished;
when a tree is too stiff, it will break.
The strong and hard are inferior; the weak and soft are superior.

Photo by Faye Cornish on Unsplash

Practicing Refining that Energy

At home, I can see how my rigid attitudes do damage to my personal relationships.  We talked about this earlier in the episode.  There are so many little habits and emotional patterns and cycles that make up a relationship, will all people involved, not just me, so when I think about this I wonder where to start or what the point is.  I suppose the best thing I can do is to just take it a step at a time when it comes.  And by ‘it,’ I mean any time there is not harmony.  But instead of seeing annoyances or angry conversations as things to deal with, perhaps I can see them as opportunities to refine my energy!


So let’s think about our home lives and pick out a thing that someone does or an attitude they have or some things they’ve said that have pushed us out of our Tao-Bubble.  You know, that bubble where everything’s just fine and we’re content.


Let’s ask - what about this occurrence disturbed me?  How did it make me feel?  Did it make me feel embarrassed in any way?  Did it make me feel like things weren’t fair?  In a nutshell, did it make me feel like I needed to prove my self worth, or did it make me look weak to myself?


In this moment, we’re just looking at that Yin side of ourselves - we’re doing our best to identify the self-driven reasons why what occurred made us feel uncomfortable.


Now, let’s look at that Yang side of ourselves.  Let’s ask the question: how can I use this as an opportunity to create a new type of attitude?  Remembering that we’re wanting to stay soft and flexible: How can I identify where I’m inflexible and then consider a new point of view?  How can I consider taking contrary action within my self?  Can I compromise on an attitude while still honoring my inner self? 


This, no doubt, requires some practice and diligence.  And I’m not gonna lie, the only reason I do this is because Harmony with the Tao feels so much better than disharmony.  In other words, just being honest here, I don’t like it outside my Tao-Bubble, and I’ll do pretty much anything to get back inside.  I’ve found that this helps a lot.


Let’s have a quick look at work.  For me, the resonant theme is usually how what happens in my professional life affects my sense of accomplishment, my sense of usefulness and purpose, and my sense of financial well-being.  There are more but those are the main ones for now.


So when I feel agitated or worried, I can usually look to those things and ask which one it is.  Often, it’s a mix of them.


Once I identify what’s going on, I can either let it go because it’s just my ego doing its thing, or, I can delve deeper into it and locate a belief system that no longer works and just creates conflict.  Then, I can start a new focus.