300 episodes

A weekly podcast about the things in life that piss us off, or outright confuse the heck out of us. The show is co-hosted by rocker Uncle Buck (based in North Carolina), and Tab Birt (based out of the land of Praying Hands).

Here's What I Don't Get HWIDG

    • Comedy
    • 4.1 • 43 Ratings

A weekly podcast about the things in life that piss us off, or outright confuse the heck out of us. The show is co-hosted by rocker Uncle Buck (based in North Carolina), and Tab Birt (based out of the land of Praying Hands).

    Episode 354 - Get Off My Land

    Episode 354 - Get Off My Land

    We're making up for last weeks lost power, Chaco is awaiting the arrival of his beloved mother and squeezing in a couple don't gets. Chatting about

    - Squatter's Rights- Fat Fat Fatties

    In a just and loving world if you owned a property you could live there, if you didn't own a property you can't live there without some sort of agreement with the owner. However in the topsy turvy clown world somehow people showing up and making a pile of filth some how have more legal rights than the actual owner trying to take possession on of a property. In our quest to be compassionate the soulless among us have corrupted that goodwill into a method of breaking the system and shafting the rest of us with the bill. Were this a proper society you'd legally be able to bulldoze your own property with them inside, unfortunately we can't yet do that.

    And speaking of 2 ton earth movers, why is it socially acceptable to weigh as much as a baby elephant or more? Unless you're closing in on 7ft tall there's just no reason to have that much weight. Put the fork down! Our society has poisoned us on convenience and false flavor. It's far too easy to reward oneself with a treat over and over again than it is to suffer briefly for a long term gain. Children are being fattened up on school lunches, which should truly be a crime, all the while being told it's not their fault it's genetics. Yeah Jenn ate six donuts on the way to work this morning, and then had a cup of cream and sugar with a splash of coffee. Stop eating fatso!

    All of that plus the true price of a cup of Japanese Coffee, the brewing war in El Chaco-stan, and how many shots is too many?

    • 1 hr 53 min
    Episode 353 - Slots Rule!

    Episode 353 - Slots Rule!

    Welcome back loyal HWIDG fans, El Chaco had a last minute rain storm that killed his power so he's missed our episode. Tim and Tab will soldier on though and they are talking about.

    - Gambling- Theatre

    Do you have twenty dollars? Would you like to briefly have more than twenty dollars and then no dollars? Well boy do we have a new service for you! At Gamble Co. one of our supreme customer service persons will personally deliver to you a random amount of cash money, and then within 45 minutes mug you for everything you have, leaving you feeling betrayed and depressed. All the thrill of gambling but we'll come right to you!

    This is my life's story, abridged, please enjoy.All of that plus Tab gets a Waifu, Tim takes a month off, and your voicemails!Hope to broadcast out again soon!

    • 1 hr 47 min
    Episode 352 - Seventh Anniversary

    Episode 352 - Seventh Anniversary

    Welcome back HWIDG fans to this very special Anniversary Episode of HWIDG. I'm Joined by El Chaco, and the Handlebreaker, we're catching up, and we're talking about...

    Forgotten Auto-PaymentsRewards MembershipsCowards

    Isn't it great these days how you can give a 16 digit number, a 4 digit expiration, and a 3 digit confirmation code to a company, and they will never ever ever forget it. The gym membership system really caught on a couple decades ago and spread into literally everything. Between that and the "Save a dollar if instead of spending $10 a month you spend $110 a year!" scam to make you extra sure you never cancel. Everything has been designed to keep you in the system, paperless billing, because they know you set up an email filter because they're sending inane advertisements 3 times a week. Oh you forgot, guess you're paying for another month of HWIDG.

    It used to be a loyalty program was that you went down to Ernie's for everything on your car. Ernie lived a few blocks away and he's an honest guy. He took care you you and your car, you paid him what he deserved, he never screwed you. Then Ernie's son took over the family business. Now he's got a punch card. 3 oil changes the 4th one is half price! It's just like the old days with Ernie, except he can't seem to remember your name, and "Oh wouldn't you know it the stamps out of ink, but I'll  sign it in pencil for you." Then the next time you can't find the card in the glove box. Thanks for being a loyal customer!

    The world has gone too soft, people comport themselves too often with a lack of dignity and integrity. We've allowed the meek to inherit the Earth, and what they've done is weaponized their meekness against those of us who aren't afraid to get smacked once in a while. Why is it more offensive these days for someone to do a good job, and be honest, than it is to hide your true intentions and try to destroy them? What did Marty do in the past that truly ruined our future? I don't know, and Michael J Fox currently blocked my number.All of that plus your voicemails, Tim trys to learn Tab's secret question, and we find out what these gents have gotten themselves into the last few months. Thanks once again for being a part of HWIDG for all these years, don't be surprised to see a new episode once in a while. We hope you'll still listen.

    • 1 hr 38 min
    Episode 351 - National Watermelon Day

    Episode 351 - National Watermelon Day

    In a shocking turn of events, Andy and Big Cray Duke have gotten together to keep the streak alive for another week. Taking us to 351. This was completely of their own volition. They're talking about;

    The Modern Popularity of JeepsPulling TrailersPeople Who Don't Close the Copy machine

    Jeeps are a national past time, these days those the manufacturer has lost all sense of purpose. It used to be a given that a jeep had a four wheel drive selector. Not anymore! Now a jeep is just another boxy SUV running out the clock on the popularity of a brand while delivering zero of the perks. Sure the Wrangler can still be stripped to have almost the appearance of a jeep, but deep down, it's just your mom's suv headed for soccer practice. You might as well be driving a mini van you giant loser.

    It's said no good deed goes unpunished, so of course when Andy seeks out to do a simple favor it becomes a complete day of work. Why would you expect the owner of a trailer to maintain the trailer, when there are people lining up to borrow it that are far better suited to make sure it's in proper working order. A set of tie down straps, a spare tire, a trailer jack, and an air compressor are just a jaunt to Harbor Freight away. Spend a hundred bucks, no big deal, at least the trailer is free.

    And speaking of free, you know what else is free? Closing the copy machine. I get it, I've left stuff on the scanner bed all the time. I recently found a document on a scanner that was placed on the scanner sometime in 2021 before my Boss left her old position at the theater to go work elsewhere, it is now 2023 she has returned to take the big chair and we found it. Meaning for two years, nobody used that scanner. If that had been open for two years it would be, COMPLETELY UNUSABLE. Close the scanner, it's not hard.All of that plus a new holiday, and finally some resolution with voicemails from Mom.

    • 40 min
    Episode 350 - Soul Food

    Episode 350 - Soul Food

    Tim is once again live in person in the most dangerous city in America. He's still gun shy on the toilets, the table is a green screen, and we're talking about.The Speed of Nine to FiveInhumans

    In this corporate hellscape we live in, many are trapped in a cubicle or office for 40 hours every week. Most people don't actually have 40 whole hours of productivity in them though. This is the real social contract we've become trapped by. Your employer will pay you for 40 hours a week, they expect you to be there, but they'll kind of look the other way when you spend half the day dicking around on facebook getting into arguments with relatives you haven't seen in nearly a decade. So even though you could wipe out the whole days work from 9am to 9:15am, for some reason you decide to dole it out little by little over the course of the week. That's great except you ARE WASTING MY TIME AS WELL!

    Culture has exposed me to a lot of new ideas over the last few years. I used to think that there should only be one Tab per Million people, too many and you have too much chaos, too many people questioning the status quo. That was when I thought that I was abnormal, I thought my brain was wired not quite right. More and more I'm starting to believe my brain is closer to right than wrong, sure I often arrive at a conclusion in a different order than others, but the conclusion is usually the correct one. Learning that the people around you don't see pictures, can't hear audio, and can't imagine their feelings under different circumstances really brings that NPC meme into perspective. It's no wonder reading has subsided in our culture, to people like me it's watching the best movie you've ever seen. To NPCs it's just words on a page.

    All of that plus the News, your voicemails, and unfortunately yes the announcement that this will be the last Consecutive Episode of HWIDG. After 350 straight weeks of doing the show, 6 seasons, 6 Co-hosts, and all of your generous time and support over the years. I have decided to end HWIDG while we are still on top. I want to sincerely thank you for listening, I'm extremely lucky to have had your ear for as long as I have. I wish you all the great fortune in your lives, and may you never lose the fire to stand up for what you believe in.Tab

    • 1 hr 41 min
    Episode 349 - Re-retiring, Again

    Episode 349 - Re-retiring, Again

    Welcome back our buddy El Chaco this week. His internet is sabotaging him again, but we're pushing through and talking about

    False FinalitiesToxic Masculinity

    It's becoming pretty clear nothing will ever end again. Franchises must continue forever so that another buck can be squeezed from the stone. Does it really mean anything anymore when a character dies? When a Rockstar announces their final tour, and 3+ years of dates do you really need to rush to get tickets? Endings should be like the state of nature, nasty brutish and short. Rip off the band aid, move on, don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

    As men continue to co-opt women's spaces, I've really turned the corner on toxic masculinity being a problem. Of course I'll always be the poster boy for toxic masculinity because I don't display my emotions, dress ambiguously, and I don't put pronouns in my email sign off. All the while true toxic masculinity burns women only spaces to the ground. Don't worry though, I'm sure it will end there, no way this spins out of control until we have State Mandated Homosexuality.

    All of that plus we have your voicemails, and news of the week.

    • 2 hr 25 min

Customer Reviews

4.1 out of 5
43 Ratings

43 Ratings

Buddy of all people ,

Love this podcast!

Listening to Tab’s yelling rants about random things that don’t effect me makes me laugh every week.
Politics are kept to a minimum unless it’s a local issue for them, or national issue directly effecting their every day lives.
Some hot takes on things. Whether you agree with what they think or not, it’s always funny.
Hosts have great chemistry with each other!
The editing is great, and they take feedback from their audience to give use more of what we like to hear.
The voicemail section is pretty stupid, but it’s at the end of the show, so it’s easy to skip.

s.funches ,

Leaves a bit to be desired

I went in being excited! I really enjoy the subject matter they cover but the way he talks and how he gets to the point is just tedious to listen to. Not my thing.

rbm222 ,

Great stuff.

Great humorous and enjoyable takes! More madcucks please.

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