Rude Bitches Make Me Tired
Slightly Profane and Entirely Logical Answers to Modern Etiquette Dilemmas
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3.9 • 23 Ratings
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- $11.99
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- $11.99
Publisher Description
In this always sensible and mildly profane etiquette manual for the modern age Celia Rivenbark addresses real-life quandaries ranging from how to deal with braggy playground moms to wondering if you can have sex in your aunt's bed on vacation to correctly grieving the dearly departed (hint: it doesn't include tattoos or truck decals). Rude Bitches Make Me Tired will provide answers to all your mannerly questions as Celia discusses the social conundrums of our day and age, including:
Navigating the agonies of check splitting ("Who had the gorgonzola crumbles and should we really care?")The baffling aspects of airline travel (such as "Recline Monster" and other animals)The art of the visit (always leave them wanting more . . . much more)Gym and locker etiquette (hint: no one wants to talk to you while you're buck naked)Office manners ("Loud talkers, cake hawkers, and Britney Sue's unfortunate cyst")And much more!
Good manners have never been so wickedly funny!
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Southern humorist Rivenbark applies her trademark wit to answering modern-day dilemmas of etiquette in what is decidedly "not your mama's etiquette guide." She addresses everything from table manners in a section titled "That's Not a Salad Fork, You Stupid Bitch" to dealing with pushy, bragging moms or, even worse, moms who refuse to vaccinate their children. Rivenbark grapples with important issues like discord between married Duke and North Carolina basketball fans; the office co-worker running a "cake scam"; and "unsolicited hugging." She decries etiquette degenerates like air travel's "Entitled Recline Monster"; a woman so devoted to her politics she campaigns at funerals; and the slow-moving grocery store shoppers she dubs Saunteringus malingerus. Further topics include restroom etiquette, where Rivenbark advises men to "not tap your toes in a stall," as "such behavior could turn you into a Republican congressman"; dealing with rude or lousy drivers on the road; and even proper Facebook behavior. As usual, her comments are infused with a Southern flair, be it a recipe for bourbon-soaked baked ham, the "Sunday-afternoon drop-in," or prefacing awful comments with "bless her heart." Fans of Rivenbark's biting humor will not be disappointed with this latest offering.
