Manna with Dr. Turner by Michael Turner M.D.

Hello Dear Friends!
We pick up our series (“Words That Change Lives”) again with our third installment. (In case you missed it, the first two are here and here.)
My goal with this series is to ponder this question — What is one phrase that truly has the power to transform someone’s life? What if you were saying your last words to someone you dearly loved and — after expressing your love, affection, and sense of loss— you only had one phrase to leave with them?
You might look into their eyes and say something like, “Remember,…”
(I am reminded of this movie clip about Johnny Cash — “What if you were lying in a gutter dying and you only had time to sing one song?)

So, here we go..
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a tremendous battle.

Friends, may I ask a probing question? Is there anyone you envy? Anyone else’s life you wish you were living?
Because, after all, that person has it so much better than you, right? More money, better vacations, a more loving and attentive spouse, a much bigger and nicer house, better-behaved children, less stress, better health… a greener garden, higher cheekbones, smaller love-handles, etc, etc..
Except, of course, that they don’t. Because you know what? Deep down, we — and, yes, I do mean everyone — are all fighting tremendous battles. And not just battles — but “tremendous” ones. Do I exaggerate?
Money is tight, bills are piling up, and inflation makes everything more of a struggle... Or, if money is fine, health problems are ever-present (or lurking) because, after all, every day your body gets older and something gets closer to falling apart… Legal problems… Addiction struggles…Vital relationships are not healthy… (Or someone you love and care for dearly is going through one of these, which deeply affects you.)
Our mind and soul cannot comprehend the state of the world. We are beset by anxiety and restlessness… We are not sure whom we can trust… We self-censor — afraid of being labeled, judged and rejected.
We struggle to believe in ourselves again. Or to get over past traumas. (One of my good friends — a fully grown man — poignantly confessed recently, “You know, I wish I had a mother who just did normal things like tell me that she loves me and she’s proud of me” [addiction problems]).
And there there are the truly Big Kahuna issues.. Lacking purpose in life.. Not feeling seen or valued.. . Haven’t been hugged in way too long… No one in your life has told you “I love you” lately... Fear of death… Feeling like your life is ebbing away and hasn’t accounted for much so far… “Is God even real? If so, where is He?”… Devil talking in your head about how incapable you are… or ugly… or unlovable… Some days questioning if you have enough will to continue to live.
Can I get an “Amen”? Or am I just making stuff up?
In my experience, if you are a human being on planet earth, you are fighting tremendous battles — often frequently, and sometimes in combination.
So, as we reflect on this saying..
We can let it become the death of envy.
And,
We can also let it become the birth of empathy.
Remember that waitress you were so frustrated with? The one with the exceptionally surly attitude?
Did you ever consider that perhaps she was fighting a tremendous battle that day? Obscured from your view, raging just below the surface of her soul, was her struggle as a single mom — the car payment she didn’t know how she was going to make, the argument with the boyfriend, the bad report from the teacher about her child’s behavior.
Can I share a life-changing moment from my past with you?
I was in counseling trying to come to terms with my very conflicted and difficult relationship with my father. I was upset, critical and hurt about all the ways he had let me down and shown himself to be harsh, unloving, unreliable and narcissistic. My points were — to any outside observer — understandable and