Fat Girl Finds Love Briana Cavanaugh

Getting Married with Sandy David 
Sandy David has been fat most of her life and grew up with a fat mom who didn’t want to be fat. After an online dating journey and the body trust online course, Be Nourished, Sandy found herself suddenly in a relationship that has since turned into marriage. Sandy’s sharing how she learned to embrace her body and also discovered her love for sex and a desire to find someone who wanted the same thing. 
Discover what losing your inhibitions is really all about!
 
What we’re talking about
 
How Sandy Discovered Herself & Her Desires When Friends With Benefits Becomes Serious Saying “I Do” In Las Vegas  
How Sandy Discovered Herself & Her Desires
Sandy became pregnant and married at the age of 19, just after high school. By 30, she found herself single and on Tumblr. It was then that she started following Jess Baker on Instagram and the online course, Be Nourished. After growing up with a mom who was fat, but didn’t like being fat, Sandy discovered a new love for her body because of what it is. 
Once Sandy’s son turned 21, she decided it was time to do something for herself. She joined OKCupid with a desire to have sex with men. Receiving 6-10 messages per day, she discovered what having friends with benefits meant and lost all inhibition by being truthful with what she wanted. She found freedom and fulfillment in choosing who she would have sex with. 
When Friends With Benefits Becomes More
 
Sandy shares that she narrowed her selection of men down to 2, but found herself more attracted to Ed who not only lived down the street, but would talk about normal things outside of just sex. Having sex with Ed felt different because he appreciated her body and they began to hang out on a daily basis, but without a commitment. Ed had been honest about his intention of moving out of state within 6 months. Before those 6 months were up, Sandy discovered she’d had a mental shift and started thinking of Ed as something more with feelings for him. When she decided not to see the other guy, she knew that was her cue and asked Ed if he still planned on moving. 
Saying “I Do” In Las Vegas
Ed did move, but not to another state...he moved in with Sandy! It’s been 2.5 years now and after contemplating that for them marriage is a legal security in which they could protect themselves financially and medically, they decided it was time to get married. Sandy adds that friends would tell them they were already acting like a married couple and simply saw what they were trying not to see. This past March, Ed and Sandy exchanged vows in Las Vegas.
 
Sandy shares that after her first marriage, she didn’t want to get married again, but in spending time with Ed and sharing so much in common, she didn’t cringe at the thought of sharing space with him. She hopes everyone gets a change to connect emotionally and physically with another person and enjoy a relationship like they have. 
 
Moved in November. Neither wanted to get married. 2.5 yrs later, now married. What changed mind to get married. For us, marriage means a legal security. Wanted to protect financially and if something were to happen to either of them. Protect their united interests. Friends said we act like we’re married, just do it. People saw what we were trying not to see. 
LINKS MENTIONED
Sandy Davdi’s Instagram
Sandy David’s Blog
Chapel of the Flowers
Be Nourished
 
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Twitter: @exxxxtrafat
 TIMESTAMPS
19:23 - 1936 (13 sec SD) -  it just made you feel...what do you really want from me?
23:30 - 24:30 (60 sec SD) -  Definitely hasn’t been unicorns farting rainbows...ultimately he decided to stay.
 
QUOTES
 
Re: The w

Hey Fans and Friends!
I did not manage to get an episode out last week - so much is a foot. There are 2 things happening. 
The weekly schedule is not working well for me as a producer (and mom, biz owner and partner). And I've been given some powerful feedback about privilege and intersectionality that I'm working to take in.  I want to be intersectional and inclusive and supportive. And so I need to slow down and reflect  on all that has happened.
So we are going to slow down. For the remaining episodes that we have recorded we will be switching to an every-other-week schedule. And when these recorded episodes run out, we'll be taking a break.
I just wanted to give you a heads up and send you tons and tons of love. I have been loving doing these interviews and connecting with all of you.
Sexual Freedom with Leah Carey 
Host of the Good Girls Talk About Sex podcast and sexual communication coach, Leah Carey is sharing her thoughts on the importance of sexual freedom and how she spent most of her life being a “very good girl.” Finding sex was boring or painful, Leah didn’t know she could ask for anything different. Listen to Leah’s journey to breaking that pattern and how she’s now passionate about breaking fear and shame for women. 
It’s time to explore what you want and deserve!
What we’re talking about
Trauma Isn’t Always Physical Leah’s Journey To Sexual Freedom Body Positivity & Body Neutrality Trauma Isn’t Always Physical
Growing up, Leah was told by her dad that she was fat, ugly and no one would ever love her. As she became an adult, she discovered that these were not inherent truths about herself but she couldn’t see that because she had been believing in what was said to her. As an adult, Leah believed in her brokenness in part because of the sex she had in her life which was either painful or simply not sensational. Leah shares that not all trauma is physical. She hadn’t been physically abused, but her memories were enough to cause trauma and create coping mechanisms that she created as a child and carried on as an adult. 
 
Leah doesn’t do trigger warnings when it comes to her podcast or content because she feels they’re overused and don’t give the message that people are stronger than they think. Every one of us is stronger than the trauma we’ve experienced. 
 
Leah’s Journey To Sexual Freedom
 
Having little to no sexual sensation, Leah got to a place in life where she felt there should be pleasure when having sex and discovered tantric massage in which people with vaginas were able to re-find sensation. She booked herself a 3 hour session and discovered that her pleasure signals were not getting to her brain, but her body, nervous system and sexual responses were all normal. She was not broken! And with that discovery, a door which had been slammed shut years before was suddenly opened back up. 
 
Leah went on a mission to find pleasure and on a solo trip around the country, she started posting and replying to Craigslist personal ads which led to threesomes and other adventures she’d been curious about. Part of Leah’s journey involved going to Hedonism and to her surprise, she found that she fit right in and that no one had a perfect body. The people who are most attractive and sexy are those who happily inhabit their bodies. The level of sexiness of a woman has absolutely nothing to do with the size of her body and everything to do with how she inhabits her body.
 
Body Positivity & Body Neutrality
 
Briana describes what it means to be fat positive, which is being comfortable with the word “fat.” Leah comes from a sex positive Portland community in which their goal isn’t body positivity, but body neutrality. Leah shares that it’s not about fawning over our bodies, but getting to the point that we are ok with our bodies, just as we are ok with having fingernails. It’s working towards not obsessing with any part of your body

This episode is a throw back to the Exxxxtraordinary podcast (our previous brand) with the intention of not putting out new content this week in support of supporting Black Lives Matters and other melanated content creators (ie black and brown folks including black, indigenous people of color). We see you. And we stand with you!
We talk about:
- Going from monogamy to sharing deeply to divorce to partnership
- Deep diving into polyamory
- Deep diving into the BDSM scene in North Carolina
- Sweetness’s husband moving in with someone else
- Staying married through metamors and changing living situation
- Briana “there's these huge shifts that happen in our relationships.
And, um, often they go on an acknowledged”
Sweetness: “we realize that we're not, we're not the same people that we were at different points of our marriage”
Shifting financial entanglements along with the domestic ones Changing body sizes and coming to terms with shame and being fat Briana: And we have a cultural story about self sacrifice, right? That's what mothers should be doing. And it’s horseshit.”
Being sex positive and having grandkids Being anxious being at a sex-cation Stereotypes in the swinger community and in coming to Desire Partner who is gender non-conforming Dealing with not being able to find clothes and lingerie that fit well. And much much more! Resources:
Resources: “The Ethical Slut: by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy https://www.akpress.org/ethicalslut.html
More Than Two https://www.morethantwo.com/
Tristan Taormino http://tristantaormino.com/ “Sex Out Loud” podcast
Life on the Swingset https://www.lifeontheswingset.com/category/podcast/swingset/
 
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Twitter: @exxxxtrafat

Fat and Fertility with Nicola Salmon #12
Nicola Salmon is a fat-positive fertility coach and acupuncturist that has helped women around the world to find their path to something they’ve wanted their entire lives...parenthood. Today she talks with us about her journey to this inspiring career, and what she feels is one of the most crucial steps in helping her clients achieve their dream.
This information-packed episode is one you won’t want to miss!
What we’re talking about

Growing Up With the Shame of Being Fat Trauma and How It Led to Becoming A Fat-Positive Fertility Coach Embracing Her Own Fat Identity and Helping Other Bigger Bodied Women Get Pregnant Growing Up With the Shame of Being Fat

Nicola lays it all out there with how it felt to grow up bigger, and feeling “different” than her peers. As young as age 8-9, she realized that she wasn’t the same as her friends. She was “bigger.” She was pressured to do things to get “healthy” (aka: lose weight), but Nicola accepted her size, and came to her “fat identity” at this age even with external pressure to see the number on the scale get smaller. At age 16 she was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), and told she would never be able to have children.

Trauma and How It Led to Becoming A Fat-Positive Fertility Coach

When Nicola was just out of university, she was living in London. She was soundly asleep when a man was shot on her doorstep, and bullets flew just inches above her window. This led to PTSD, and, in her search for healing, she discovered acupuncture. The acupuncture was a game changer, helping to relieve her PTSD, and spurring her interest to help others with this tool. Her natural interest in PCOS and hormones led her to become a trained fertility coach.

Embracing Her Own Fat Identity and Helping Other Bigger Bodied Women Get Pregnant

Even though Nicola did not struggle with becoming pregnant, it was after delivering her own child that she not only embraced her fat identity, but she wanted to help other bigger bodied women to achieve their dream of parenthood as well. She focuses on finding supportive healthcare professionals, mental and physical aspects of how being fat affects the goal of becoming pregnant, and creating a positive mindset to set your body up for success.
LINKS MENTIONED
Nicola Salmon on Instagram
Nicola Salmon on Facebook
Nicola Salmon’s Website
Fat and Fertile by Nicola Salmon
Fat Girl Finds Love Facebook Group



 TIMESTAMPS
20:23 - 21:15 (52 sec NS) For a lot of people, when they’re going through fertility...not getting enough intake for your body. 25:24 - 25:57 (33 sec NS) One of the things I recommend...we should be looking at and focusing on. 28:26 - 29:11 (44 sec NS) I would suggest that they spend some time...they don’t want to miss that opportunity to make a baby. 31:46 - 32:20 (34 sec NS) Really figuring out what we believe...it just helps things fit together better. QUOTES

Weight is meant to fluctuate. It’s meant to fluctuate throughout the day, throughout our menstrual cycle, throughout our lifetime. - NS Making sure we’re getting all our needs met, and making sure that we’re taking care of those needs both sexual and non-sexual intimacy needs is really important. NS In order to advocate for yourself, you have to, at some level, believe you’re worth advocating for. BC A mindset is a really critical component of being able to have a joyful, pleasurable life. If you’re worried all the time, you’re not going to see the joy coming at you. You’re not going to be able to be in the moment & be joyful. BC 

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"It's funny how that works, when you have a desire. It just comes back stronger and stronger and stronger." Dalia Kinsey
We're in a bit of transition with our show notes. We just hired someone to help. So there are tons of details coming.
 
For now you can reach Dalia:
www.schoolnutritiondietitian.com
School Nutrition Podcast (iTunes)
School Nutrition Podcast (Spotify)
Follow Dalia on Facebook  Instagram LinkedIn
 
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Twitter: @exxxxtrafat

In this episode I hung out with one of my favorite folks: Gloria Jackson Nefertiti! We’ve been online friends for 20+ years and only this year met in person! Wild, huh?
We talk about:
Polyamory and having non-hierarchical relationships
Bisexuality and both being bisexual
Racism is poly community
Being valued and loved
Oh and WoMBaTs! Come find out what a WoMBaT is!
Bio
Gloria Jackson-Nefertiti is a polyamory educator, bisexual activist, and sex geek who is available for panel discussions and presentations on responsible non-monogamy, bisexuality, transcending shame, and abuse in the poly and sex-positive communities. She has done presentations and panel discussions at various schools, colleges, and conferences all over the United States and Canada, including Loving More/Poly Living (Denver, CO and Philadelphia, PA), SF BiCon (San Francisco and Oakland, CA), West Coast Bound Kink Conference (Coquitlam, BC), and ConvergeCon (Vancouver, BC). She has been fascinated by relationships and sexuality as long as she can remember, even during her fundamentalist xtian days. She is also a breast cancer survivor, published poet, public speaker, singer, photographer, performance artist and long-time artists’ model. You can learn more about Gloria from the following articles: #WomanCentered: GLORIA JACKSON-NEFERTITI - part of a series of interviews seeking to tell the inspiring, interconnected stories of women’s reproductive health, rights, and empowerment (PART ONE https://tinyurl.com/yat9pgpb and PART TWO https://tinyurl.com/y7ur8puu), and “Life with Two Boyfriends: Inside a Polyamorous Relationship” https://tinyurl.com/y73fgsow. 
 
You can find Gloria on 
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/GloriaJacksonNefertiti 
Twitter https://twitter.com/gloriajn 
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/gloriajacksonnefertiti/ 
Her website, Not Gloria Jean http://notgloriajean.net/ 
Gloria lives in Seattle, WA.
 
If you enjoyed this episode and want more, join our FB group:
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You can also find Fat Girl Finds Love:
FP Page: https://www.facebook.com/FatGirlFindsLovePod/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fatgirlfindslove/
Twitter: @exxxxtrafat